If you’re ever thinking that your life is perfect... Wait... Your kid is bound to get sick, and that is my version of hell.
Double down on that hell when we are on vacation.
Now that we live on an island usually vacation ends up being seeing some loved ones. We were in Naples Florida visiting Jason’s parents. Naples Florida literally the opposite of this island. While there is still warmth, well, unless you count the bone chilling central air, I mean come on Florida, humans don’t need to be refrigerated until they are dead. Everything is perfect there, not a blade of grass is ever out of place, and while at first this seems to give me some sort of safe comfortable feel, it usually starts to smother me like a heavy comforter that I can’t get my feet out of. The island has no such perfections, in fact it’s beautiful charm is that nothing is perfect, hell, you may or may not be able to turn on your lights, and landscaping? That word is used so loosely. I remember when we first got here, we turned the corner going to our home and there was a young man with a bandana tied around his face, wearing what looked like a schooner hat, and a HUGE machete, where I come from this is a killer in a movie, here? A landscaper. I’ve grown used to things looking more real I guess.
You eat, and eat, and eat some more.
When we got home we rested and rested, we had 6 days to gear up for my crew, they come tomorrow.
Things I do when I am getting ready for a SHIT SHOW.
1) Detox 2) Order food three weeks in advance
3) Make a plan that I will never stick to for working out
4) Have an alternative plan for working out if I cannot get my workout in, I also do not stick to that
5) Meal plan
6) Start drinkin a week in advance so I am not a train wreck
7) Wash bedding
8) Clear space for guests clothing
9) Go food shopping
10) Adjust meal plan because nothing I need was available
11) Forget everything the minute everyone arrives
12) Wing it
5 women, two children, a very patient husband, and an occasional nanny. Thank god for our Leah, both the girls love her, and she lets us take our big girl time! We are booze cruising to the BVI’s, going to play on Saint John, and otherwise going to just lay on the beach and laugh and enjoy each other’s ridiculousness, these women are close like family, and I never have to be politically, religiously, morally, or socially correct, and for that I will love them forever!
Before I forget, we saw our first tarantula, it was dead, but it still counts. I think that it took the scariness edge off, and it was outside, so that also helped, and it was a baby. All in all, we didn’t go bat shit.
We also saw a random man walking down the street with a live snake, and unlike the many I’ve seen in Mexico used to make money by posing with tourists, this one seemed to be the man’s beloved companion.
Otherwise things have been pretty run of the mill, well, except these “Christmas Winds” that have come late. Literally it was 68 degrees here and in Chicago at the same time, we were freezing and wearing long sleeves, while my Illinois folks were wearing their flip flops and tanks for the first time this year, ah relativity.