I’d like to coin the phrase “Bathroom Blogger”. No, this is not when you write a long text when you are “going no. 2”, although, now that I write that out I love it, in this case we’ll use this to describe the freaking RUN on instruction signs in our restrooms all over this island.
I’ve decided to start a compilation of these spellbinding reads, I love them, they are hilarious. If you have a few minutes in there and you are not “Bathroom Blogging”, please snap a pic and send it to me, they make me happy.
Found the tailor, it was easy since Jason did the hard work, he found him and used words that I could understand, like, “turn at Island Latte, walk to black sign, it’s right there, just go up there stairs”, I understand coffee, and simplicity. I walked up the stairs, ran directly into “the guy”, he led me into his “office” which was like stepping into the movie Slumdog Millionaire, except it was air conditioned.
There were about 45 garbage bags of clothing all around in the first room, and it was so dark and scary looking, and in the other room it was light, had all his clothing that he was working on for people, and a bunch of beautiful sewing machines, surrounded by clothing and more clothing, okay, we’ve got ourselves a hoarder. I trusted this man immediately. He had the kindest face, and I know he will do an amazing job. He reminded me before I left to not gain or lose any weight, so he’s got balls too.
SO before I tell you about my weekend, I want to remind you that I have suffered lifetimes worth of pain, I need to tell you all that before I start getting death threats. Trust me, a few short years ago I would have fucking hated me, so please focus on my dues that are paid and not my ridiculous lifestyle that I call “everyday”.
Saturday we laid around, I finished a few marathons that I have been toying with, and I can finally close those doors, it has been a good run. Sunday, well, we spent that day at the Ritz with one of our favorite families on island. The Ritz is worth the money, everything is better there, and there is no other way to describe it, the freaking paper towels are nicer. The service is amazing. The pool is not chlorinated, it is a salt water pool, and I will own a pool like that in the very near future, Jason, you’re warned, it’s on my “dream board”.
Then Monday, Columbus day? What ever, Jason worked, and Scarlett and I went to get our first mani-pedi together, this is a moment that all mothers can’t wait for, well, I know a few who dreaded that, but I couldn’t wait. She did amazing, sat there with more patience than I usually do. Then we followed that up with a trip to the Marriott Cove, this is a place with a water slide, great food, and the perfect water temperature in their glorious pool. I want to be clear, life is not perfect on this island, it’s just not, but, it doesn’t suck either.